The Maggot - Live Matter in a Dead Body - Issue #2

 Issue #2 of Huron College's "disgruntled student" newsletter, "The Maggot - Live Matter in a Dead Body"

The Maggot

No. 2

We are not peddling paradise! We are defending Huron college from what has developed to the point of reactionary dictatorialism. We are conducting a clean up campaign aimed at releasing this institution from the tentacles of tight-fisted miserliness where absolutely necessary expenditures are concerned in regard to athletics and other campus programs.

No college can keep students or get a sufficiency of new ones when they have nothing to show or offer. Future enrollees want more than a gospel team, they want a football team. We don't need a steamroller, but we do need a few victories every season.

We have had two complete seasons without a single win. This year our opponents chalked up over 300 points to Huron's 18. Our boys have had the courage to go out there week after week and take a beating. Have they climbed on “the butcher wagon” for nothing? Our team has the skill and the guts, but they lack the weight and number.

Why do they lack the weight? Why do they lack numbers? Simply because we have to take what we get. We don't go out after the desired athletes nor do we hold them if they make, what so far has been the mistake of coming here. Ask Mr. P. or Miss D. what happened to Sedley Stuart, Bob Fisher, Ray Hilestad, Dan Greek Blair Peterson, Lee Pederson, etc.

What do politicians and bookkeepers know about running an athletic program. There is one long, lanky, lean Scotchman and one big, burly, benevolent sports mentor that do know how, but their hands are tied. It is up to the students to get behind them and cut those bonds. Put the power where power belongs.

We need athletic scolarships! [sic] We need definite jobs for football players! No more hackneyed promises! There is plenty of room in the gym for an athletes [sic] dormitory! Every other school has an assistant coach! The town wants to help us, but they won't if we do not help ourselves first!

A prospective athlete has to run the gauntlet of fountain pens, spectacles and dollar signs and then is met with a very verbose request for self-sacrifice. This is certainly a Christian institution.

Well, the Maggots are going to cogitate awhile. Next week, more true facts will be brought to light. We don't want indulgence. We're for action. We're for cleaning house!

[handwritten note: “The second addition [sic]. The third will come out Monday and will get one for us.”]